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Russia unveils new weapon-carrying robot – and now you can own one too!

The prestigious “Army 2022” arms convention is currently taking place on the outskirts of Moscow. It is a place where death-dealers come to peddle their tools of mayhem and destruction.

Russian engineering company “Intellect Machine” presented their M-81 robot, capable of carrying weapons and ammunition as well as firing them. The model displayed was carrying an RPG-26 light anti-armor weapon attached to its back, with an optical aiming device mounted at the side of the launcher.

The video showing these abilities of the robot quickly went viral, as the Kremlin-controlled “RIA Novosti” news agency was quick in disseminating it to show the Russian people and the entire world the mind-shattering superiority of the Russian technological thought.

Video of the M-81 robot-dog armed with an RPG-26 at the Army 2022 defense expo.

— Rob Lee (@RALee85) August 15, 2022

You too can start building your robot army today! And no need to despair if you cannot go to the “Army 2022” convention this year.

Unitree, the manufacturer of the Go1 Robot Dog is selling a suspiciously similar device for USD 2,700 (EUR 2,655).


— Rob Lee (@RALee85) August 15, 2022

And if you are looking to economise when building your army of robotic hellhounds that will produce widows by the wagonload, you can always go dive into the Chinese website AliExpress, where it is currently available at a discount, and sells for just just under EUR 420.

“The secret of the Russian arms industry: AliExpress equipment and stockings stolen in Ukraine,” Tweeted Bukvy.

Секрет російського воєнпрому: техніка з Аліекспрес та чорні панчохи, вкрадені в Україні ��

Це «вундерваффе» сьогодні показали на російській виставці «Армія-2022».

— Букви (@Bykvu) August 15, 2022

Certainly there must be another reason for the black-fabric coveralls the M-81 is clad in, other than just obscuring its similarity to the Unitree product. It is probably to make it more cuddly and kid-friendly.

And the owners of the Bukvy Twitter account will not be so smug once the Russian army gets a hold of those Thomas the Flamethrower Tank Engines and knocks at their door.

Thomas stopped outside The Controller’s house.

“Toot toot,” said Thomas. “I’m done with you telling me what to do.”

Thomas then turned his flamethrower

— Toby Earle ���� (@TobyonTV) November 28, 2020

Which anyone can make if they only have some DIY skills, a dark and twisted sense of humour, and a fat wallet to later pay for their kids’ years of therapy that will inevitably follow.

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Naysayers and defeatists may recall Boris the Robot, who turned out to be just a man in a suit. But you are all forgetting that Putin is playing 4D chess. The Kremlin wants you to think that it is embarrasing itself with daily displays of incompetence, so that the moment you let your guard down…

Russian soldiers are goose stepping down Pennsylvania Avenue like it was “Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2”, Putin instals Alyaksandr Lukashenka in the White House, who immediately turns the lawn in front of it into a potato patch, and all McDonald’s restaurants in the US of A are rebranded as “Vkusno i tochka”.

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